Before You Masturbate, Please Read This; How to Overcome Masturbation

There is no true “release” in masturbation. It is not an escape, it is a trap. You sign away your peace, your freedom, your self, your inheritance in a sense, like Esau did with Jacob; and all for a passing moment, a mere feeling that when gone, leaves guilt and almost despair in its place (when God means for this instead John 14:27). If you want to overcome masturbation, keep reading because the truth is…

You don’t need to masturbate. Masturbation makes you turn, literally turn, your back on God instead of lean into Him, trust Him, or allow Him to carry you and strengthen your weakness.

You’re only human, why don’t you let the One who is ALL POWERFUL take the lead. He will not lead you into temptation. He will deliver you from every evil.

Even Our Lord and Savior was tempted by the Evil One, and he overcame it all and gives us strength to do so too (Hebrews 4:15; Matthew 4:1-11).

I’m writing you this not to judge or shame you, I’m writing this to myself and sharing it with anyone who needs it. I’ve been there and so I know to an extent, at least enough to write this (Psalm 51:12-13).

“Not my will, Father, but Your Will be done.”

Sin is us wanting our will over God’s perfect will. You want to masturbate for how it feels good in the moment but that is not God’s will for you (1 Thessalonians 4:3).

It’s God’s will for you that must always prevail in your life (John 6:38). Always God’s, not yours, because He cares for you. He knows what’s best. He has your greatest good in mind, not the counterfeit good.

Masturbation is a sin against chastity and against purity. It can be an addicting habit that leads down a road of sloth, indiscipline, promiscuity, self-loathing, anxiety and stress, laziness, poor judgements, dulled senses, and a poorly formed conscience.

These things, none of them, serve you. They instead bring about your downfall and not a hope for the future like God intends for you (Jeremiah 29:11).

The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that masturbation is “an intrinsically and gravely disordered action” while also acknowledging that personal culpability may be lessened by factors such as immaturity, force of habit, anxiety, or other psychological or social factors (CCC 2352).

Don’t do it!

As you’re reading this, don’t do it. Cast it out of your mind! Flee the temptation, resist and flee Satan and he will flee. Draw nearer to God, and He will come close to you and help you (James 4:8). It is good to read this letter. Read God’s love letter to you; the scripture (2 Timothy 3:16). 

Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, don’t desecrate it (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). 

Who can climb the mountain of God? The pure-hearted with clean hands (Psalm 24:3-4). 

You are a child of the light, cast off the ways of darkness (Ephesians 5:8). 

You have not resisted to the point of shedding blood (Hebrews 12:4), you’ve got this, and Christ’s got you with sufficient grace (2 Cor 12:9); power unadulterated, bursting inside of you if you just lock in, tap in, or rather tap Him in and let Him fight the battle for you! 

He is a victor. A mighty, valiant warrior in battle, and He has won the battle, and always will!

Practical Steps on How to stop masturbating 

1. Get Up!

One practical step to overcome masturbation is to shake it off, shout if necessary! “NOOOOO!! Jesus, help me! Mother Mary come to my aid!”

Believe in the power of God to whom you are praying, that He will dispel the darkness of sin, same way you believe a chair you sit on will hold your weight, or the stair railing you lean on will not throw you down a flight of stairs. Believe in God’s help when you cry out to Him! 

2. Play Sacred Music; Gospel music or Gregorian chant

An exorcist has once shared that Gregorian chant and Gospel music are abhorrent to demons. They can’t stand it. It is an atmosphere they don’t want to be in.

And physically, when you are hearing this music playing, listening to the words, singing along with the prayers and scripture, it is incredibly difficult to sin.

You have actively cooperated with grace. Your attention has been diverted back to Christ. You are leaning into His grace. In a way resisting sin or temptation to sin is as simple as making sin extremely difficult. That’s what these practical steps to overcome masturbation do for you. 

3. Sanctify Your Space

Pray over your bed, your room, your bathroom, your laptop, wherever is the occasion of sin, pray over it, sanctify it. Holy water cleanses venial sin.

Use holy water with faith, making the Sign of the Cross and asking God to purify your heart and strengthen you against temptation.

Sprinkle, or douse, your room in it while praying prayers of deliverance from the sin of impurity, to overcome sexual temptation.

4. PRAY!

This is number one, but it is also in every step (pray unceasingly, 1 Thess. 5v17). Remember I’m talking about physical things to do. I know what it’s like to want something that feels ‘more’ tangible than words. That thinking in itself is a problem though because prayer isn’t just words.

This is no doubt why the church has sacramentals and refers to sacraments as an outward sign of inward grace, because us humans look for things more “tangible” forgetting everything came into being from God’s word.

God’s word makes things what they are and prayer is spoken power, in that it is communion with the living, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient God. 

Also, asking for saints intercession is very powerful too in an all hands on deck kind of way! God knows what He was about when He established a communion of saints (Hebrews 12:22-24; Revelation 5:8).

For something to feel, you can pray with your rosary beads, and pray scripture with your physical bible. Feel it in your hands, have it to hold on to with the knowledge that God is very real, alive and active in you. His Holy Spirit is helping you in everything.

Scriptures to fight against the temptation and help in overcoming masturbation; 

“Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” John 8:34, 36

“God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18

“But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.” Romans 14:23

“And if your hand—even your stronger hand —causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” Matthew 5:30

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you.” John 14:16

“Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.” Ephesians 5:3

“So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.” Colossians 3:5

“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” Hebrews 13:4

“Then he said, “You son of the devil, full of every sort of deceit and fraud, and enemy of all that is good! Will you never stop perverting the true ways of the Lord?” Acts 13:10

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

“Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.” James 1:14

“I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.” 1 Corinthians 9:27

“So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.” Galatians 5:1

“Where is another God like you, who pardons the guilt of the remnant, overlooking the sins of his special people? You will not stay angry with your people forever, because you delight in showing unfailing love.” Micah 7:18 

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:16 

5. Remove Your Mind from the Temptation

Don’t dwell on it. Lust and arousal is kind of like a fire that grows hotter and bigger the more you fuel it and lingering on the thought is like fueling the fire.

It gives space for excuses and reasoning why it’s not so bad, and letting the sensations and arousal build to the point where you just feel like getting it over and done with… No!

I promise you, if you divert your attention, the temptation to masturbate leaves, it smolders out. Do the things in this list! 

Get up, jog on the spot, follow a workout, do jumping jacks, have a cold shower (if being alone in the bathroom is an occasion of sin, don’t do it), put on Christian music, read a book (unless this is what triggered the temptation, then don’t do it), journal, read this letter, read the bible, pray!

All this is not to put off the sin, but rather to mentally and physically distance yourself from the thought so you don’t linger on the sensations and feelings of arousal that may be rising up in anticipation of orgasm or climax. This puts a stop to that slope before you lose your footing.

Bonus Tip on how to overcome masturbation as a Catholic

As a bonus tip, but also this may fit into step 3, have many sacramentals around you. An open bible on your bed, or bedside table, a rosary or three around the bed and the room. 

Wear a rosary ring/finger rosary so you are mindful of what you do with your hands. Wear a scapular that can be felt on your neck, or a miraculous medal, or a St Benedict medal, or a rosary. Something you can feel on your chest to remind you you are under God’s umbrella, and you are a child of the light that has been claimed for Christ. The devil has no hold over you, you are God’s own beloved. 

Have a crucifix on a visible wall nearby, or on your bed, or on a shelf. 

In times of temptation, don’t turn away from these things, and don’t remove them. Let them be objects that remind you of the grace and power of God at work. Let them be something to check you and call you to order.

Remember that sacramentals are signs that dispose us to receive God’s grace. They are not magic charms. 

Keep your bedroom door open, don’t turn off the lights, don’t wear seductive clothing that rubs you in places or makes you feel turned on. Avoid clothing, media, or habits that you already know become occasions of sin for you. 

If pornography is part of your struggle, remove it. Block the websites. Delete the apps. Unfollow the accounts. Throw away whatever repeatedly leads you into sin.

If it’s erotic or smutty books and movies, stop reading, stop watching.

If it’s dirty talk or sexting, stop engaging in such conversations or jokes. Talk about boundaries and being pure with your partner.

If it’s triggered by anxiety, have a to-do list, prioritize tasks, and get them done daily before you get stressed out and overwhelmed.

Jesus tells us to be ruthless with whatever causes us to stumble, not because He wants to take away our joy, but because He wants to truly and totally set us free.

A Last Note on Overcoming Temptation to Masturbation

As you are reading this right now, know with all certainty that God’s power and help is at hand within you. You are not alone and you can, by God’s strength, overcome and keep overcoming this, through Jesus Christ Our Lord, Amen!!

P.S. If you have fallen already, don’t listen to the lie that God doesn’t want you back, or doesn’t want to hear from you again, or that you are now cut off forever. That’s Satan wanting to keep you in his dark and hopeless place. The devil’s goal is not simply to make you fall. It is to convince you to stay down. 

RUN TO CONFESSION!! 

Even before confession, though it’s a mortal sin, don’t delay your act of contrition. The more you tell yourself, I’ve already done it now, the more you will continue to do it again, or feel like ‘let me get it all out of my system now’.

NO!

That’s a trick of the devil to keep you away from your saviour, and to keep you enslaved instead of freed! 

Tell God a heartfelt “sorry, my Lord”, and begin again with Him on the right way.

Your firm purpose of amendment can be penance, like fasting, or waking up earlier without snoozing your alarm, or cold showers.

Things that give you discipline and strengthen your ability to tell your flesh, “no”. This prevents falling again.

How to Grow in Purity and Chastity

Being pure is about discipline (2 Timothy 1:7).

Before you masturbate, or get to that point of wanting to, you need to train your flesh to obey your spirit by not overindulging the flesh (1 Corinthians 9:27). 

Temperance is very necessary. Modesty is necessary, faithfulness and consistency, self-control, and discipline are very necessary. 

Read the scriptures. Study them day and night. Soak yourself in the Word of God (Joshua 1:8; Psalms 1:2). 

A good way to do this is with devotionals. A short memory verse of the day that you memorize and say back to yourself throughout the day. Followed by a meditation to help the verse to stick, an action to practicalise the verse, and a space for journaling because what we write helps us to process and diffuse, but also to remember what is necessary. 

All these tips aren’t abstract. I’ve struggled with this for years and so I made something to help. A simple, structured, reliable way you can try is the devotional DRAW NEAR.

I made it for catholic women like myself who love God’s word and want to consistently read and pray with it every day. 

If you remember nothing else from this whole post, remember this: temptation is not your identity, your past is not your future, and Jesus Christ has never lost a battle for a soul that keeps coming back to Him.

God bless you, God love you!

Signed,

The Holy Minion